What Goes On In Her Mind

By the looks of her you see a smiling face,

But behind that lie is a scary place.

Her eyes, her dimples, the way she laughs,

Little do you know about her sad past.

It all started at the age of eight,

She does not believe that this is fate.

Her mind it wanders to somewhere she hates to go,

She is scared that her fear will jump out and show.

Thoughts and images crowd her mind and brain,

The only thing that can stop this is some kind of pain. 

She then thinks of the one she loves,

And realizes that she's finally had enough.

Shaking, sweating, crying, and screaming,

She doesnt know how to start that thing called breathing.

Lying there not knowing what to do or what to say, 

She thinks to herself  " what happened to this day?"

She remembers all the fun and laughs she had with her friends,

It's sad to think that all of that came to an end.
She knows that her mother goes through the same thing,
She then hears her phone " ring ring ring"
Scared to answer and hear who's on the other line,
She starts to count backwards starting with nine.


9.8.7....6.5.4....3..2...1
" This isn't a good time I'll call you when I can"
But the voice on the other line sounds like a man...
" What you're going through runs in your blood,
You are what i created with love not mud.
Giving you this disorder was part of my plan,
Too see if you can make it like your mother can.
Don't let the thoughts and fears run through your mind,
Remember that you're strong, wiser and kind.
I am not stating my name or what i do,
But you should always remember that I Love You"


The phone went dead and she looked at the fan,
She thought about the voice that sounded like a man. 
She believes that she can fight this fear,
So get ready and get in gear.
She starts to get up and wipes her eyes,
She gets stronger and stronger and stops her cries.
As she walks out of her room with a bright light hitting her face,
She see her family and her friends and feels safer in this place.


- Cali DeGaetano